Send a Easter Ecard from Rubber Chicken Cards
Easter's the ONLY religious holiday commemorating the age-old blood feud between the stale chocolate bunnies and their evil nemesis, the equally stale marshmallow pink and yellow baby chickens. This war is re-enacted every year in order to see which sugary confection will win supremacy in the form of shelf space in supermarkets. Most are leftover losers from the previous years' "shelf-space" battles. You'd THINK we here at Rubber Chicken Cards would naturally be cheering for our "peeps" Like the stale marshmallow chiquitos ? But we've always been loyal to peanut butter cups and Necco wafers. So the rest of the lousy candy can go to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks! Which is what will happen to YOU if you don't send out our wonderful and all too plentiful Rubber Chicken Easter cards to your friends and loved ones. See how we tie our tiresome and pointlessly inaccurate tangents together in the end to always "close the deal" as the Ancient Romans usta say?!
You'll never guess who decided WHEN we're supposed to celebrate Easter. If you said, "The First Council of Nicaea, on the first Sunday AFTER the full moon (the Paschal Full Moon) following the March equinox", then clearly you'er merely reading that directly off of Wikipedia's web site and you should be ashamed of your blatant plagiarism! Because EVERYONE knows, "Ecclesiastically, the Equinox and the 'Full Moon' are not necessarily on the astronomically correct date."... Wikipedia, please don't sue us!
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